Introduction
The name of the author is Gisèle Pelicot, but I have decided to use her maiden name for this post — Gisèle Guillou. Madam Guillou is widely known as a victim of a series of extraordinary crimes. For over a decade, she was manipulated and betrayed by her husband, Monsieur Pelicot, who secretly drugged her so he and over 70 other men could rape her over time.
Typically, in cases involving sexual violence, the courts anonymize the victims’ identities, and the trial is held privately. On the first day of her trial, when she faced a sea of defense lawyers in the courtroom, the judge expected her to consent to a closed trial. Instead, Madam Guillou displayed extraordinary strength by waiving her right to anonymity. Because she decided that shame has to change sides. Her courage stunned the judges, defence counsel, the defendants, and the rest of the world.
Shame has to change sides
Her story is soul-scorching but immensely inspiring at the same time.
Madam Guillou with her lawyers Antoine Camus (left) and Stéphane Babonneau (right)
Formative years
When reading a biography, I am always interested in reading about the author’s formative years. Madam Guillou and Monsieur Pelicot both grew up in France. They both faced adversity, like most people in the post-Great Depression era.
…our lives begin long before we do
Madam Guillou lost her mother at the age of 9. From then onwards, she was looked after by her father, stepmother, elder brother, aunts, and uncles. But it was not the same. The entry of her stepmother, who had no affection for petite Gisèle, instantly changed the family dynamics. She almost instantly lost that invisible protective parental bubble that protects children from harm. The love and care her family provided were no match for her mother’s love.
Monsieur Pelicot, on the other hand, experienced violence and exploitation from a tender age. He started working at 13 and paid almost all his wages to his tyrannical father. He was violent towards his mother, and after her demise, Monsieur Pelicot’s father raped and married their foster daughter. Unbeknownst to Madam Guillou, Monsieur Pelicot also witnessed extreme sexual violence at a young age and was forced to participate in gang rape during his formative years. A stark contrast between the two.
When Madam Guillou and Monsieur Pelicot first met, their young love seemed immune to life challenges; it seemed promising enough for them to make a leap of faith and start life afresh.
Marital life
From the outside, their marriage seemed normal, with ups and downs. Their long relationship was envied by their friends. Together, they overcame financial constraints, career challenges, extramarital affairs, et cetera. Madam Guillou always knew about Monsieur Pelicot’s odd sexual requests. When questioned, he gaslighted her by saying she was lucky to have a husband who was so attracted to her.
Discovery of crimes
Madam Guillou was 67 years old when the crimes came to light. In an instant, she lost the life she believed she had. She writes about the painful transition from believing she had a happy marriage to relying on her children for a place to stay. Yet even there, she felt she no longer belonged. When she described standing alone in a Paris train station, on her way to stay with her children, feeling utterly lost — it broke my heart.
The isolation and the unknown that lay ahead at an age when most people are retiring and reaping the rewards of their life’s work was utterly unfair. While I understand many people’s post-retirement lives are entangled with dependency, abuse, and financial constraints, Madam Guillou consistently advanced in her career, in contrast to Monsieur Pelicot, who never held a steady job and had many failures as an entrepreneur. Madam Guillou was the reason there was stability in their household.
Madam Guillou’s decision to insist on a public trial required her to surrender the last remnants of her privacy. At a time when many questioned her account, she chose transparency over anonymity because she believed shame should change sides.
That decision came at an extraordinary personal cost. Explicit videos of her unconscious body were played in open court. The trial also exposed photographs her husband had secretly taken of their daughter.
Defendants’ behaviour
Psychiatrist Laurent Layet detected a range of emotional and sexual abnormalities, “Egomania, narcissistic fragility, emotional disorders… an abnormal sexual deviancy combining candaulism [exposing your female partner to others for sexual enjoyment], voyeurism and somnophilia,” and a lack of empathy towards other humans. Those traits may have been exacerbated by his childhood experiences.
Criminal lawyer Florence Rault, who has dealt with several serial rapists, including Monsieur Pelicot’s historic ones, observes that, unlike other serial rapists who acted on impulses and then forgot about their actions, Monsieur Pelicot premeditated his criminal activities. In the courtroom, he vehemently denied any such accusation until confronted with indisputable proof.
In her book, Madam Guillou further highlighted common characteristics in all her perpetrators — a sense of entitlement and an attitude of indifference. I find this behavior truly terrifying.
Madam Guillou’s character
Losing her mother so young may have shaped the resilience she later displayed. When her world collapsed for again, she not only found her footing but also managed her turmoil, supported herself, stood by her family, and made difficult decisions with remarkable clarity. In doing so, she became far more than a victim. She became an inspiration.
Throughout the trial, Madam Guillou consistently demonstrated the strength of her character and conducted herself with utmost grace. She dealt with people with influence and power righteously; she fired the lawyer who did not handle her case with enough sensitivity; she spoke up against Monsieur Pelicot’s brother, who, despite being a doctor and Council member, allegedly lied during the trial about their father’s violent nature, and numerous accused who claimed that she consciously and consensually engaged in sexual activities with them.
Despite all of that, come wintertime, she went to deliver Monsieur Pelicot’s winter wear in prison because she did not want to kick a man when he was down.
I believe he belonged in prison, but I would not kick a man when he was down
The Win
Reading her biography made me realize that Madam Guillou’s victory happened much before her marathon trial commenced. Besides the victory in this landmark case, Madam Guillou’s quiet courage led to winning worldwide support and adulation, including, France’s highest civilian award — la Légion d’honneur.
The Hymn to Life
Madam Guillou’s biography — A Hymn to Life — is an emotionally demanding book; there were moments that made me howl with despair, but it also made me smile and cheer for her. My favorite instance is when one of the accused appealed the trial sentence of 9 years because he was convinced the rape was consensual. The appeal judge not only denied the appeal but also increased his sentence to 10 years. I could not help smiling!
To fill the void that betrayal had left behind, she needed to love again, and she did find it, in new friendships, renewing pre-existing ones, and finding new love — Jean-Loup Agopian.
Madam Guillou once promised her father that she would always keep in touch with her stepmother, who never spoke a kind word to her. Madam Guillou kept her promise and remained in touch with her till the very end. That, to me, is resilience. Her story is an ode to all who have endured abuse.
Her biography ends with a lovely message —
To fight the emptiness, I need to love.
