Sign of the times

Generally speaking, in life, what distinguishes a good phase from a bad one? Here is my personal experience with a possible explanation.

Apparently 2020 was supposed to be the beginning of my “good phase” but I faced challenges like never before. I ended up losing my balance, lost touch with myself. I didn’t feel I am the same person anymore.

I felt disconnected with myself for a year and a half and it was disconcerting not knowing what I am thinking, what my heart wants. My energy was consumed and my peace disturbed by so many changes around me. I responded in a robotic way. Everyday I would dance to the tunes of ticking clock with no time to think; and every once in a while crash into binge watching comedy and a tub of ice-cream.

When I asked myself for a solution, I only got bafflement and silence. I felt like a movie protagonist where I was stranded alone in outer space with time and oxygen running out. And even though I was surrounded by plenty of people, in reality there was a complete disconnect and absolute unfamiliarity everywhere.

Almost miraculously, only yesterday when I was running outdoors, I somehow found my inner voice talk to me. And suddenly I was enjoying my run instead of robotically pushing myself. I ran like how I used to run with a happy heart, beating gleefully! I was finally talking to myself.

Rejoiced, I asked myself, if this is supposed to be my “good phase” in life, why am I feeling like I am stuck in quicksand? And then it struck me – A good phase in life does not translate to absence of challenges; it is still a lot of challenges but this time with allies and a few instances of being at the right place at the right time; the only day I will have no obstacle is the day I stop breathing. Upon this realization, I just took a deep breath and sprinted back home; feeling energized instead of drained.

Absence of obstacles is a myth; sign of tough or pleasant times is determined by habits, preparedness, company, courage and hope in our hearts.

And now that I feel like I am ready to strengthen my bond with myself, I am not afraid of anything because I know even if I falter, I will rise again. Sign of the times are certainly in favour.

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